


Byakuya Togami's Day Off

by TellThemNaegi



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Gen, Makoto dies a little inside with each scene skip, Togami Byakuya Being An Asshole, Unreasonable demands, happy holidays
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-25
Updated: 2019-12-25
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:00:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21948499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TellThemNaegi/pseuds/TellThemNaegi
Summary: "Something terrifying happened, Naegi.” Byakuya briefly paused, disappointed in himself for showing weakness. “I got bored of being rich.”(Byakuya tries to get in touch with his inner commoner. He tries.)
Relationships: Naegi Makoto & Togami Byakuya
Comments: 10
Kudos: 145





	Byakuya Togami's Day Off

Byakuya Togami walked the path of kings. He was the envy of all, the first of everything, the destined ruler, who recently turned 18.

“To think this day would finally and truly come.” Byakuya mused, leaning back on cheap furniture that he normally would never deign to grace with the task of supporting him. Nay, he’d have at least 10 derogatory monikers to throw at the owner. He settled for 3, because today was special.

“What's so bad that you'd need to come over to my place?” said Makoto Naegi, the apex commoner, Averagus-Maximus, Gaius Plainus etc. The affluent progeny showed up to his home, early in the morning and demanded to see him. Naegi hadn’t even been given the chance to get out of his pajamas.

"Something terrifying happened, Naegi.” Byakuya briefly paused, disappointed in himself for showing weakness. “I got bored of being rich.”

“…” Naegi stared like a dullard, as usual. Could it kill him to be a little less boring?

Byakuya sighed intensely. “It’s time you take responsibility for our little chat the other day. You claimed there was something worthwhile in living an ordinary life. I want to ascertain its veracity.”

Naegi tilts his head. “You came over…first thing in the morning, unannounced…on a whim?”

“Yes. Wasn’t that obvious?” Byakuya continued. “Henceforth I shall live as a commoner for the next 24 hours, and astutely decided you would suffice as a frame of reference. You may thank me.”

“…So you’re just gonna follow me around all day.”

“More or less.”

The grey-eyed boy paled. “I-Is this really happening right now? C-Can I back out of this story? Hajime’s just as average as I am. Let him suffer for once!”

“Don’t complain. It’s not like you won’t be compensated. For your efforts, I have wired a small sum to your bank account.”

“…Why do you have that info?”

“My name is Byakuya Togami. Now get dressed.” Byakuya had half-a-mind to sue for sexual harassment if he stared at the boy in his underwear a minute longer.

“It’s 6 in the morning. Class isn’t for 2 hours…”

Byakuya rubbed his chin “Commoners like to leisure around when they could be spending time productively. Informative.” He smiled triumphantly. This was going to be a piece of cake.

Unfortunately for Naegi, there’s no chance of the heir letting him go back to sleep. The boy was dressed and ready by 7.

Byakuya impatiently tapped his foot outside the Naegi residence while the luckster said goodbye to his parents. The sister sent him some strange, confused looks. Had nobody taught her it was rude to stare?

“Sorry for the hold up.” Naegi runs to his side.

Byakuya looked around. “Where is the limo?”

“I take the bus, Togami.”

“…”

“Oh _come on._ It’s a bus, you know like-”

“I know what ‘a bus’ _is_ ,” Byakuya cut off his rambling with a raised hand. “I’m merely surprised you had the resources to reserve one for us ahead of time.”

“Reserved…you’re joking, right?”

“No. Why would I be?”

“It’s public transportation. We walk to the bus terminal and take it to the stop nearest to the school.” Naegi fumbles through his explanation.

Byakuya searches for any lies or misunderstandings. “You…do that every day?” Making that unholy pilgrimage to Hope’s Peak without any remote sense of privacy?

“Uh…yeah. It’s not a big deal.” Naegi scratched his cheek.

No…big deal? “I see. Let’s…be off.” There’s a lapse in confidence that even someone as dense as Naegi could pick up.

“Are you okay? I can call a taxi instead if you want.” Naegi said, concerned.

“That’s unnecessary!” The heir walks forward. Public transportation…the path commoners walk is a dreary one indeed. But I must brave this challenge.

For my name is Byakuya Togami.

**-[Diplomacy is For Commoners]-**

“YOU ARE LATE!” Kiyotaka Ishimaru screams his head off, red in the face. They were _only_ 45 minutes late for class and the nuisance threw them out the second they walked in. Because he thought they would disrupt the ongoing lesson.

Let it be known, Ishimaru is the only one losing his shit.

“Sorry, Ishimaru-kun. A lot of crazy things happened on the way over, and we lost track of time.” Naegi grovels in the halls. Byakuya isn’t sure _why_. Ishimaru holds no power over them.

“That’s always your excuse, Naegi-kun. Can’t you see your lack of punctuality spells danger for your future?!”

“This is a routine of yours, Naegi?” Byakuya ignores the moral compass in favor of the lucky student.

“It’s just bad luck on my end.” Naegi replies bashfully.

“Grrr. Don’t ignore me. What of you, Togami-kun? Explain your tardiness.” The red-eyed boy points at him.

“ _If you must know_. I was following Naegi, and I confirm everything he said is true: We left his residence at 7, but on the way to the bus stop…A cat got stuck in a tree and, for some unfathomable reason, Naegi felt the need to rescue it. The bus we were riding crashed with an oncoming truck, nobody was injured. I wanted breakfast but our orders got mixed up, costing us another half-hour waiting in line to get the right set…” Byakuya skimmed through the number of incidents that met them on the way to school.

“That’s ridiculous. I expected more sensible excuses from you of all people!” Ishimaru yelled.

“Why would I need to make excuses _to you?”_ Byakuya glared.

Class 78’s homeroom door slid open. Out was the finest example of a fashion disaster Byakuya had ever laid eyes on. Did nobody ever tell Owada he looks like a corncob? “What’s all the yellin’, bro?”

“I’m discussing the matter of our late classmates.”

Owada sighed, shaking his head. “Oh come on, who actually cares? Least they bothered to show up. Kuwata and a few others are ditching, remember.”

Ishimaru’s eyes widened. “Thank you for that reminder! Let us apprehend them at once!”

“That ain’t what I meant.” The biker groaned.

Good grief. “Such is the fate of a lap dog. I pity you, Owada.” Byakuya spoke his sincere thoughts.

“Who’re you callin’ a dog?” The biker’s face reddened with fury.

The tiny Naegi stepped in between the boys, hands pushing against their chest. “Come on, you guys. Let’s not fight first thing in the morning.”

“Who is fighting? I merely expressed my condolences.” Byakuya said.

Naegi beat Owada to the punch. “Be that as it may. It made Owada-kun angry. You should apologize.”

… What? “You would order _me_ to demean myself with an apology?”

“Yeah, that’s what most people do when they offend someone. No hard feelings and everyone goes home happy.” Naegi words of dubious wisdom clicked with the scion.

Right now he wasn’t Byakuya Togami, Ultimate Perfection. He was Byakuya Togami (temporary commoner) “Hmm… commoners must curb their own opinions to maintain the illusion of peace. Understood.” The powerless have their ways of fighting too, it seemed. “Owada, I misspoke. You are not a lap dog.” More like a defanged mutt.

“Yeah whatever.” Owada clicked his tongue, but his anger subsided without a doubt.

Naegi let out a sigh of relief, then faced Ishimaru. “Togami-kun was only late because he followed me. He’s usually one of the first to class.” That goes without saying. While Byakuya considered lectures a waste of time, he had little else to do. If he was going to show up to any event, he must be punctual. As etiquette dictates.

“That’s true. Hmm…very well, I shall let this slide in the face of you diffusing the situation. Good work, Naegi-kun.” Ishimaru smiled widely.

Just then, Byakuya experienced a foreign emotion – He was impressed by someone other than himself.

_Annoying conflicts can be avoided just by keeping my evaluations to myself. Commoners skillfully evade conflicts by keeping their true thoughts in check and delegate their way through confrontation._

A familiar chill runs down Byakuya’s spine. “…” Growling, he whipped his head backwards. “Was I…being watched?” He mutters.

“Togami, are you coming?” Naegi calls, graciously being allowed inside by Ishimaru.

“Yes.”

**-[Commoners Reach for the Stars]-**

“Definitely Akane. That chest window is crazy, dude.” Hagakure nodded to himself

“Eh, I feel ya but I’m more about shy, good girls. Tsumiki’s my pick.” Kuwata pressed a finger to his chin as if he’d said something profound.

“That chick gives off scary vibes. Don’t you think, Naegi?” Hagakure drew the boy into the conversation.

“Me?” The brunet pointed to himself

“You’ve been to the infirmary like every week. What’s she like?”

“Ah…”

“What is the point of this conversation?” Byakuya finally spoke up as the fourth in the quartet. Their desks had been bunched up together for god knows what reason.

“We’re talking about girls.” Kuwata elaborates.

“You intend on courting these women?”

“Wha? No. We’re just checking them out. You know, like window shopping, dude.” Kuwata explains.

“You’re kind of a scumbag, Kuwata.” Hagakure noted.

“No, you are.” Byakuya and Naegi can’t help nodding in agreement with Kuwata’s assertion.

“And you…often have these conversations?” The Togami heir was…curious.

“About different girls, sure. Why’re you making it sound like a big deal?” The baseball star crossed his arms. “You got your eye on someone?”

Byakuya ignored the question. “What about you, Naegi?”

“I just kinda go with the flow.”

Of course he’d pick the path of least resistance. Although Byakuya could sympathize this once; this topic was tedious.

“Where is the substance?” Byakuya asked. “You have nothing worth talking about? Exchange of assets? Actually useful information like stock?”

Hagakure smiled pityingly. “Ain’t got many friends huh?”

“When you’re on my level, you don’t have the time to sort a list of worthy candidates.” HPA was practically a vacation for him.

“Aaaah, that’s exactly what an unpopular guy would say. Word for word.” Kuwata whistled.

“Come off, you guys. I don’t think it matters so long as the person is happy.” Naegi interjects.

“ _I’d_ be happy in my bed, but thanks to somebody, I got dragged off to class.” Kuwata’s displeasure flickers like the flip of a switch. “Then again, it’s not all bad. Maizono’s looking fine as always.” Kuwata glances at the idol, as usual.

“Commoners fixating over what will never be theirs, is happiness? Why not apply yourselves?”

“You’re starting to sound like Ishimaru.” Kuwata mumbled.

“Big difference. _He_ says it and believes you will succeed. _I_ say it and expect you to _fail_.”

“Why bother?!” The athlete gaped.

Byakuya smirks. “My satisfaction.”

**-[How to Converse Like a Commoner]-**

“Naegi-kun. I hear Hanamura’s got a new menu in the cafeteria.” Maizono skipped to Naegi’s desk first thing at the ring of the lunch bell.

“I can’t wait to try it!” Naegi sparkled.

Ugh, he’d seen this coming a mile away. Usually Byakuya would tune out their disgusting conversations, but that wasn’t an option today.

With a roll of immaculate blue eyes, he says “I believe Maizono is asking you to join her.”

Naegi stares hopefully at the idol.

“If you don’t already have plans…” Maizono shyly prods.

Byakuya cuts the brunet off. “He doesn’t.” Like hell, he’ll sit there and watch this farce play out a second longer.

Staying true to his word, Byakuya accompanies Naegi even to lunch where the unlikely trio are treated to the cafeteria’s food.

“Ah, so _that’s_ why you two came to class together.” Maizono says after they explained their current arrangement. “It was strange seeing you with the guys, Togami-kun. What were you talking about?”

“Calling it a conversation is exaggerating. Kuwata and Hagakure were just expressing their lust towards you and the upperclassmen.” Byakuya said bluntly.

Maizono’s eyes darkened.

“TO-GA-MI-kun!” Naegi coughed aloud.

“What. Would you prefer I lie?”

“I appreciate your honesty, but you’re trying to be normal right?” Maizono tilts her head, as if he hadn’t mentioned her involvement “The key to smooth conversations is reading the mood, knowing what to say and when to say it. It’s like a juggle.”

“I prefer to be more direct. Honestly, everything is a struggle with you plebeians.” So many barriers and rules wherever Byakuya looked.

The idol’s eyes twinkled with mischief “But since the secret’s out. Who’s your type, Togami-kun?” She repeats the same question Kuwata did.

“High-class women. Beautiful, intelligent and successful. I have no need for a doormat so individuality is a must. It’s impossible to reach my standards but they must do their best to come close.” Byakuya’s certain the other two can’t understand why he increasingly speaks plurally. In truth, he would have several wives, over a dozen before he was thirty.

“Oho, you like a challenge. So maybe someone like Kirigiri-san?” Maizono leads.

“She wouldn’t be my last choice. Though her arrogance is off-putting.”

Naegi snorts, drawing attention to himself.

“Have something to say?” Byakuya grunts.

“Uh…that description could also fit Maizono-san.” Byakuya is almost impressed at how the luckster passes the baton to his blue-haired friend the second it lands on his palm.

He’s quick to suffer the ramifications. “Naegi, you were also in that conversation with Kuwata, weren’t you?” She said coldly.

“I didn’t say anything about you!” The brunet waves his hands placatively. Byakuya can’t blame him when the look Maizono gave was spine-tingling.

He’s downright freaked out when it shifts abruptly.

“Oh…” Maizono deflates, lowering her head. “That’s too bad.”

“R-Really?” Naegi’s cheeks are tinted red. If he were a dog, he’d be wagging his tail.

Maizono closes her eyes and beams “Sure, I would have loved to hear your preferences. That way I could wish you luck!”

Byakuya could practically see the boy’s heart fracture. “Right. Thanks a lot.”

Meanwhile Maizono hums a tune, seemingly oblivious to the fatal blow.

Byakuya picked up two useful pieces of information this lunch hour.

Commoners (male) are dense.

Commoners (female) can be terrifying.

**-[Do Commoners Love Sweets _That_ Much?]-**

It was right at the start of PE when Byakuya offered condescending words to the one person he shouldn’t have. “Donuts. That filth you put in your mouth day in and out. Can it really be so good?”

“Watchu say about donuts?” Aoi Asahina asked with a crazed look. The half-eaten glazed confection in her hand froze in space.

“It was a question. I’m asking if they’re any good or not.” Byakuya repeats.

Asahina furrows a brow and cocks her head to one side. “Foreigner?”

“My biography says I’m half-European, but what does have to-”

“From space?” She continues.

“I don’t know why I bothered.” Byakuya turns his back.

“Oh no you don’t.” Asahina runs around, blocking his path. “What do you mean you’ve never had a donut? How’s that possible!?”

“Health is the priority of all rulers. I can’t be stuffing my face with cheap sweets. However, as I have become a commoner for these unbearably long 24 hours, I thought I’d satiate my curiosity.” Past tense.

“Take one.” She has the _gall_ to offers him the eaten pastry.

“No thanks. I’ve lost interest.”

“You don’t get to refuse! I won’t accept a non-believer!”

“Asahina. You are going a bit far.” Ogami sweat dropped, watching her friends’ display of insanity.

“I bet you’re just chicken. You’re scared you’ll love donuts forever, but since you don’t train like me, you’ll blow up like a balloon.” The swimmer spread her arms out wide.

“H-How dare you insinuate I could ever be anything like that impostor?” Byakuya glared.

“Put your money where your mouth is. One lap around the track. I win, and you have to eat.” Asahina proposed.

“You’re on.” Byakuya’s consent drew an excitable crowd.

Then “Naegi, crush her.”

“Huh!?” The luckster looked at him like he’d grown a second head.

“How many times do I have to repeat myself? Today, I am not the heir to the Togami conglomerate. I won’t summon my Olympic runners to deal with one cocky girl, so you’ll have to do.”

Naegi’s jaw dropped. “No no no! That’s unreasonable!”

As if that fact would change anything.

Naegi and Asahina raced, and to the surprise of approximately 0, _he lost._

“Ha….haaa…” The brunet sunk on all fours, breathing like he’d run a marathon.

“How pathetic.” Byakuya towers over him, munching on a single donut. “Not only did I lose to Asahina, but I have to sully my esteemed taste buds with this. Can you even imagine the shame and humiliation you’ve caused?”

Naegi doesn’t even have the courtesy to look up when he’s spoken to. Instead wheezing on the ground like a cockroach.

It suits him, being perfectly honest.

“Hm. Well, these donuts are slightly edible.” Byakuya finishes the last morsel.

“What do you mean ‘slightly’ edible? Those are the best donuts in the block. No in all Japan.” Asahina exaggerated, not the slightest bit fatigued from the race.

“Just that huh? No wonder. Well then, allow me to show you. I’ll pool the Togami corp’s resources to make the best in all the world.” Byakuya boasted.

“…” Gears turned in Asahina’s head. Slowly she spoke “…Yeah well…I bet you can’t make em crispy crème on top.”

“You bet I can. Just watch me. I’ll turn these sweets into gourmet. Enjoy this short victory over Byakuya Togami. When next we meet. You’ll be crying for mercy.”

Asahina cried regardless. Of joy.

**-[Commoners Shouldn't Be Attorneys]-**

“Let’s review the defendant’s case one more time.” If “Judge” Makoto Naegi repeats himself again, _he’ll_ be the one lying in a pool of his own blood, and not the trial victim, Yasuhiro Hagakure.

“ _Again, ‘your honor’_? It’s obvious Kuwata is the killer.” Prosecutor Byakuya Togami clicked his tongue, unhappy to be trapped in the courtroom. The accused, Leon Kuwata gaped in the front seats, one of few (sadly) distinguishable faces. The rest of his classmates were either in the jury seats or...

“Oh, where is your proof?” That annoying Kirigiri, who dared to oppose him. She stood behind the podium just like himself.

“Tch. Tell her, Naegi.” Byakuya looked up to the boy in question, draped in a black garb far too big for his small stature.

The runt shifted in surprise “Togami-kun, I’m the judge. I can’t-”

“You _really_ ought to check your bank account. 9 digits.”

Naegi’s lips tightened. “…Okay. So we can narrow Hagakure-kun’s death in the bathroom to not be purely self-defence, and he planned to kill somebody.”

“And Kuwata, in a fit of rage, struck back.” Byakuya finishes.

“THAT'S BULLSHIT! YOU'RE STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID! STUPID!”

Kuwata continues like that. What the hell was wrong with him?

“If there’s any other explanation a commoner come up with. Just admit it already so I can go home.” The heir rolled his eyes.

“Just a minute. There’s one other possibility.” Kirigiri starts, and rambles on and on. Maybe this was a bad idea. If I knew this was going to be so boring, I wouldn’t have-

“Therefore, I deduce the killer is our own jury’s Hifumi Yamada, but Togami-kun went and disguised the crime scene to implicate Kuwata.”

Yes, that.

“I admit it. I also saw Yamada slip out of the room so there’s no need to clarify that either.” Byakuya confessed.

Dramatic gasps were heard across the courtroom.

“Wait what!?” Naegi yells.

“I’m done, Fujisaki.” Byakuya raises his voice.

The poorly decorated scenery fades.

Back in the real world, Byakuya, Naegi and Kirigiri take off their VR headsets.

“How was the simulation?” Fujisaki said, looking back from his computer. The programmer had invited the trio to the computer lab after class. Something about wanting to test a new game – Hope’s Attorney.

Byakuya never had the chance to play ‘video-games’ before. When Fujisaki promised a virtual experience centered on a murder mystery, well, Byakuya had little reason to refuse.

He had been wrong. It was boring. What else could it have been when the characters had been their idiotic classmates? Fujisaki could at least have given the option of allowing Byakuya to kill them personally. That might have been fun.

“Realistic. Hagakure’s body reminded me of the real thing.” Kirigiri noted, having been even more keen on Fujisaki’s offer than the rest of them. “It was a fair bit predictable. Was Togami interfering with the crime scene in the script?”

“Uh no. I have no idea why he did that.” Fujisaki stared at him quizzically.

“I wanted to make things more interesting. Besides, not weighing the pros and cons and acting impulsively Is what commoners would do.” Byakuya said.

“Ah, so that how you plan on excusing your sloppy defense.” A slight but definite smirk made its way on Kirigiri’s impertinent lips.

“Exactly, it doesn’t count. If I were on my best day, you’d never solve the murder, Kirigiri.” Byakuya pointed.

The detective narrowed her eyes. “How about we give it another go?”

“If you’re ready to blemish that record of yours…”

“Sounds like the game was a success if they want to keep playing.” Chihiro looked between his not-so-stoic classmates. Getting into arguments over the winner was a fundamental part of a multiplayer experience between commoners.

“By the way…” Byakuya begins. “Kuwata programming’s bugged.”

Fujisaki slowly shook his head. “There’s no mistake. The AI simulated Kuwata-kun’s personality perfectly.”

Byakuya, Naegi and Kirigiri stare at the lad, mystified.

“…Oi, is that guy going to be okay?”

**-[Commoner Friendships Come in All Forms]-**

Celestia Ludenberg placed a teacup to her lips, both sides twitching upwards as she consumed her favorite royal milk tea, made by her not-so-favorite butler, Hifumi Yamada.

Byakuya couldn’t fathom the nature of their relationship. Hmm, amend that statement. He hadn’t cared to find out. But after walking in on them in the cafeteria with Naegi in tow, now was a good chance as any.

The gambler brought the tea away from her mouth, and with a smile “Make another.” …dumped the remaining contents onto the floor, right next to Yamada’s feet. “Kindly clean that up as well.”

Bizarrely, Yamada _does_ it.

“Ludenberg.” Byakuya approached.

The gothic lolita’s smile strains. “Celes is fine.”

“I don’t care. How much do you pay Yamada for his services?”

She crossed her fingers. “The total sum of basking in my royal presence.”

“Nothing then?” Byakuya furrowed his eyebrows oblivious to the twitch of Celes’ eye. “Why does he serve you?”

“Why does Naegi do whatever you ask of him?” Celes points to the withered boy, whose eyes were like a dead fish’s.

“Go on, explain it to her.” Byakuya said.

Naegi slowly turns to him. “You…don’t know, do you?”

“Of course I do. It’s because you know your place as a commoner. I am destined to rule and you to be ruled over.” Byakuya nodded at his own theology. The strong dominate the weak, what could be simpler? “What I want to know is why Yamada would let himself be ruled over by another commoner without recompense.”

“And we get to the heart of the matter.” Celes looked askance.

“It’s not like I do this for anybody. Celes-san is right. I just like being around her.” Yamada speaks up. His subservience resonating with his shifty master.

“As you see, it’s a mutual-understanding. I am the queen. He is the servant. That is the nature of our friendship.”

Lightning may as well have struck Byakuya on the spot. “Friendship. This is the fabled _‘friendship’_ I keep hearing about?”

Yamada tilted his head. “Isn’t that the same for you, Naegi-kun?”

“Not exactly. But yeah, I don’t think I’d go this far for someone who wasn’t my friend.” Naegi replied without energy.

“I paid you.” Byakuya adds.

“I would have helped you even if you didn’t.” Come to think of it, Naegi hadn’t once checked his finances since Byakuya had mentioned it.

…commoners would go this far assisting others and expect nothing in return? What wasteful magnanimity.

**-[Commoners Have No Sense of Danger]-**

Friendship…I don’t really understand it - Byakuya ruminates, as he had been the whole walk from the cafeteria to the outskirts of the academy. The gates stood in front of them.

When Junko Enoshima stood before those black bars. Byakuya briefly considered they were the gates to hell.

“Hey boys~

“Enoshima…” “Enoshima-san.” Surprising to see Naegi sharing the same lack of enthusiasm as he did.

The pinkette’s hands were hidden behind her back. She settles for puffing her cheeks in irritation. “What’s with that weak-ass reply? A super-beautiful fashion model’s going out of her way here, y’know!”

“Perhaps it was uncalled for, but perhaps I just don’t like you.” Byakuya stated.

“Charming.” Enoshima rolled her eyes. Those blue orbs shining with malice when they fell on Naegi’s depressed state. “What about you, Eggie?”

“Good afternoon, Enoshima-san.” Somehow, he manages a smile.

“That’s my little egg-”

“Ah, just stay right there please.” Enoshima’s approach is stopped by Byakuya’s raised palm. “Or at least let us see what’s in your hands.”

Enoshima blinks, then sticks out her tongue. “Bzzt.” Her arms come forward, in hand is an all-too familiar device. One Byakuya himself often kept on his person for certain…annoyances. “It’s a little tazer I happened to pick up. Thought it’d be fun to pull a little prank on ya.” She pressed on the button, and currents of electricity passed through the prongs.

“Wouldn’t that have caused Naegi severe pain?” Byakuya arched an eyebrow.

“So?”

Byakuya and Naegi remain silent, but Enoshima smooths it over like she hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary. “Anyway. What’s with you two hanging out all day?”

“Togami-kun’s taking a break from…his usual lifestyle and wants to know how ordinary people go through the day.” Naegi explained.

“Learning how to be a nobody huh. That’s despairing to think about in its own way…yeah, I could work with that.” Enoshima pressed a finger to her chin, muttering to herself a bit. Then out loud she declares. “Shame you won’t remember a thing after I wipe your memory!”

“What?” Byakuya’s eyes widened a fraction

“Upupupu…” A Cheshire grin, a pirouette and she was gone like the wind, leaving the boys in utter confusion.

“What is wrong with that woman?” Byakuya asked.

“She makes these strange jokes all the time.” Naegi shook his head.

“Ugh, word of advice, Naegi. One of the few worthwhile conversations I have with my father, was about women.”

“If we’re gonna have the talk, I learned that in 6th grade.”

“No. Commoner or otherwise, the only thing more able than a conniving woman to ruin a man, is a conniving woman that isn’t after his wealth.”

**-[For Commoners, Rejection is Inevitable]-**

The day was roughly over. The sun was setting, now Byakuya and Naegi were heading to the latter’s home. Just a few more hours left. A few more hours and still, that noticeable shiver doesn’t leave. Even when they were blocks away from Hope’s Peak.

Byakuya stops walking.

“What’s up?” Naegi asks.

Byakuya inhales, and whips back. “That is enough. I’ve put up with this until now but following us the entire day is absurd! Show yourself!”

Naegi’s at full attention after the sudden (to him) outburst. Seconds later, Toko Fukawa emerges from around the corner. Her typically perverse nature made itself apparent with that delighted smile on her face. “Hehehe....y-you noticed.”

She wasn’t a surprise. The actual strange case was the shadow who zipped out from behind a nearby tree at the same time.

“You noticed.” Mukuro Ikusaba said. Her face, slightly less devoid of emotion than normal. He daresay she was…flustered.

“As if I wouldn’t adapt to your daily stalking.” He addressed Fukawa first, the acknowledgement sending the author into ecstasy.

“I’ll never understand this relationship.” Naegi mumbled. Then turned to the soldier. “I get Fukawa, but what are you doing here, Ikusaba-san?”

Ikusaba winced. “Hi, Naegi…It’s not what you think.”

The fool nods to himself. “I’m sure you have a good reason, is there anything you need?”

“Oh come on Naegi. Even you’re not so naïve to not see what this woman wants; with the way she’s been staring over here with glassed eyes.” Byakuya folded his arms.

“W-What are you saying?” A faint blush spread across Ikusaba’s cheeks. Byakuya discovered her secret and now Naegi would too. The soldier shook her head and snapped. “Don’t say anything!”

Byakuya sighed deeply. With pitying eyes, he stated “To think even you couldn’t help but fall so deeply in love with me.”

…

…. 

“Huh?” Ikusaba said expressionlessly.

Fukawa’s gaze turned murderous.

Not like he cared about any of that. “I’ll make this clear with you as I have Fukawa. I have no romantic interests. Goodbye.”

“Huh?”

Meanwhile, Naegi stood there with his jaw dropped. He slowly pointed to the affluent progeny. “Is _this_ your type, Ikusaba-san?” Naegi spat. It was the most scandalous thing the boy had heard all day. Byakuya almost detected traces of disgust in his voice.

“Like hell!” Ikusaba scrunches her face in revulsion.

“How desperately she rejects the obvious truth.”

“Stop talking over me!”

“Now she’s _raving_. Let’s go Naegi. They’ve embarrassed themselves enough.” Byakuya turned away from the girls, dragging Naegi along. The luckster too shell-shocked to resist.

...

“I’ll kill him.” Ikusaba reached for her throwing-knives. Her motions stop when she feels the coldness of scissor-blades against her neck.

“No can do, luv.” Fukawa’s snake-like tongue shamelessly lolls out. “I won’t stand by and watch some hussy march in on my territory.”

Ikusaba’s eyes turned cold. The next instant, the two combat-knives clashed with scissors.

The instigators behind the mindless violence long gone.

**-[A Commoner's Life isn't Envious]-**

“It’s over.” Togami said, his back lying against Naegi’s bed.

“Yes. over.” Naegi laid on the futon. Both boys stared up at the luckster’s ceiling.

“I’ve never slept so uncomfortably.” Byakuya remarked.

“It was the best I could do.” Naegi droned. His voice dead. “The best I could do. Even though it always ends up badly.”

“It does, doesn’t it.” Byakuya agreed. “But it wasn’t boring.”

Naegi blinks, then faces the bed. “Huh? You actually enjoyed yourself!?” The brunet’s tone shifted from incredulity to stifled anger.

“It wasn’t boring.” Byakuya repeats, and his voice trembles. “However, it was worthless. Hopeless. You looked like you suffered every minute of the day!” The Togami heir shuddered.

Naegi wore a blank expression.

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I must to admit, commoners…are adaptable. To live such bleak, miserable lives, even for a day. I have to re-evaluate you, Naegi. I'll repay you for this lesson, and a Togami pays back their debts seven-fold.”

By now, the exhausted luckster had turned away, paying no heed to the boasts. The light in his eyes completely faded. “Good night.” Naegi willed himself to sleep. Hoping the nightmare would be over when he woke.

* * *

Sunlight peaks through the window as Naegi opens his eyes. With his senses refreshed, he notices the futon felt considerably softer. He quickly realizes he wasn’t sleeping on his futon at all. It was a white-mattress, far more spacious than his own, with rose-patterns etched onto the sheets.

That naturally led to bigger revelations and problems.

This wasn’t his room.

Makoto looked around. “D-Did I suddenly slip into a 5-star hotel?” Not like he’d ever been to one, but with how the place was decorated, the brunet imagined this is how it would look.

The door flung open without a knock. In comes Togami. “Good morning, Naegi. I thought you’d sleep the day away.”

Makoto had no idea what was going on, but it was definitely the older male’s fault. “Where am I?”

“One of my remote villas in Hawaii.” He replied.

“Ha-wai?” Makoto pronounced wrongly. He slips off the bed and marches to the window. Outside is a beautiful beach and nothing but water as far as the eye can see.

Makoto laughs. “Aha…I’m still dreaming.”

“Shall I help you test that theory?” In the scion’s hand is a taser reminiscent of Enoshima’s.

“No thanks.” Makoto gulped. “Um…why am I here?” Of all the questions, this comes out first. He had many, many others of course.

Togami smirked. “I spent the better part of the night thinking of how to repay you and I arrived at this conclusion: You let me experience the despair of being a commoner for a day, therefore I should show you a glimmer of hope the world has to offer. I had you brought over to my private house. That reminds me, I’ll need to inform your parents, so they don’t think you’re missing.” He trails off into his own world.

Makoto just looks “You…kidnapped…me?”

“I prefer _non-consensual displacement."_

“…”

“Without further delay, you shall live like a king.” Togami exclaimed and clapped his hands. Foreign maids burst into the room with cleaning equipment and trays of food. Some circled around him and before Makoto knew or processed what was going on, he was nearly dressed, hair combed and teeth brushed. The suit wasn’t unlike his classmate’s.

Togami address the sole elderly butler that remained. “Aloysius, order me one pack of crispy creme donuts.”

Makoto glanced down at the meal set before him

"I deserve this.”

**Author's Note:**

> Alternate Summary: Local Scrooge McLemon learns absolutely nothing valuable at the expense of one boy's sanity. 
> 
> Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays everyone!


End file.
